Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's top comedians devoted their airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the affluent.

Colbert's Pointed Take

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas song about the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... destroys everything he touches."

The focus was the new plan that allows overseas citizens to purchase U.S. legal status for an investment of one million dollars, with a "premium" version for 5 million. The program's portal guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick message for you to rich immigrants: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, with large payments. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of grocery items, and reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning news defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.